The DJ Booth
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You won’t find Planet Platypus in a chart of the solar system, and you can’t see it through even the most powerful telescope. You won’t find Planet Platypus in outer space—instead, you’ll find them in cyberspace. PlanetPlatypus.com is a website and the industry’s newest form of audio “entertainment” for the adult industry. The best way to describe Planet Platypus? It’s a Howard Stern-style radio show for the adult nightclub industry.
Cheap sex in questionable places is par for the course when you’re an up-and-coming rock band. Knowing this, Longreef lifts liberally from the write-what-you-know hard rock handbook to scribble something not unlike those songs that have all been in this situation before. The difference? The Longreef boys just sound really (really) nice about it all. Whereas the lyrics by Motley Crue—or even Nickelback—are rather dick-ish about groupie love, Longreef at least say thanks as they pass the post-coital washcloth.
Although his name sounds like he stole it from the dude ranch just south of Brokeback Mountain, French Montana’s “Pop That” finds itself perfectly at home inside your club (especially if you’re located within Dade County). Trust us, if you haven’t spun this yet, watch your floor tremble once you do. Like it or not, with guest verses from Lil’ Wayne, Drake, Rick Ross and a sample from Luther Campbell, this is a canticle for strip clubs.
Since he’s moved on to the greener pastures of product pitchman and thespian for hire, it isn’t hard to call 50 Cent’s “First Date” a comeback record. Forgoing another co-starring role with Val Kilmer, 50 (that’s, Fitty) returns to your club with the same kind of thump and thug sensitivity on “First Date” as can be found on his past bangers, “Candy Shop,” “21 Questions” and “Just a Lil’ Bit.” This time, Too Short makes an appearance, so you know the track’s pimp hand is strong. Good to have you back, Mr. Cent; it’s like you never left.
There are rappers and then there are rap artists. Kendrick Lamar has the best argument to be placed in the latter since Kayne West. Why? Versatility first. The foundation of his flow is firmly West Coast, but he’s able to bounce back and forth between styles to offer up a delivery that seems like it could switch mid-song, from verse to verse. Next is his lyrical depth. As a student of hip-hop storytelling, Lamar finds clever rhymes in subjects beyond just that of himself, guns and strippers. (Although all three do make appearances in his major label debut.) “Swimming Pools (Drank)” isn’t the traditional rap track to be played at your club, but it’s the kind of rap the rest of the listening world desperately needs.